Wow! So the response to my last post was really amazing. Thank you to all the people who reached out to me to let me know that my testimony helped them not feel alone in their struggles! I knew God had a bigger plan for it, I just didn't realize how big. It's cool to feel used by God, I highly recommend it ;)
Ok but something that I DID get was that people wanted more. They wanted to know where I am now, what's happening with my walk with Christ... all your problems don't just go away right? WRONG! I don't want anyone to think my life has been anything short of interesting or easy since being a Christian. What's really changed is my heart.
I've noticed when your heart is at peace the hardest trials don't destroy you.
I'm 24 years old and I've seen and done so much. I've done an internship in Africa for 2 months, skydived, bungee jumped off of a bridge with Victoria Falls roaring behind me, gone on 3 mission trips (that number needs to CHANGE!), sat in the Devils pool, shot for Nike, helped shoot 2 fashion shows, I own my photography business, and help lead worship at a college ministry every Tuesday night. ALLLLL these things I like to call highlights. Ya know, the boasting, the stuff you put on a resume, the things people raise their eyebrows at...good conversation topics to bring up to validate that though I was a sheltered homeschooled kid I still hold my own.
What no one sees is the mundane. You don't post on instagram "eating pizza for the third time in a row after waking up from my 3pm nap. And Yes, I'm still in my pjs." No one is IMPRESSED by that, no one thinks "Good Adulting" to that. We don't really broadcast our 9-5's we maintain in order to achieve our dream vacation, we don't broadcast our hardships, our money problems, heck...our eating out bill *monkey with hands over the eyes emoji*
We broadcast the things that impress others, it's just good marketing.
So when I was asked, well WHAT NOW? I wanted to come back with all my trophies and put them on a table to say - "THIS! This represents 2014, isn't she a beauty? This one represents 2015 and all the amazing things that happened! This one, oh man IT'S SO HEAVY, this one is a bad boy. This one represents everything I'm PERFECT AT!"
Yeah right. So that's why it took me a couple of days to write this one. I had to search and ask God," Well.. what now? What DO I do now? What's the happy ending?" And like so many other times I've asked God a question there was a silence. Usually when this happens, my first reaction as a millennial with everything I need at my finger tips, is annoyance. "You're gonna make me wait and watch aren't You?" Yup. And I'm still waiting and watching for the really deep answer to this question...which I have a feeling will be revealed to us both as I continue writing.
God knows we want to do something grand in our lives. We want to leave a legacy, we want to leave a footprint in a block of cement that others come to and say - "*your name* was a legend, what a inspiration, I hope I'm like *your name* one day." We all long for a purpose driven life that sets the example for others to BE purpose driven... showing them how to have life to the fullest.
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. John 10:10
I've found that my answer to "what now" lives in my daily walk and molding with Christ. Incredible statues come out of a lot of chiseling, a lot of paint, a lot of molding, a lot of perfecting. It's not done overnight. Our "what now" is what we should ask God everyday as we walk in obedience with Him. Notice I'm not saying "what next" We have a lot to deal with in our daily 24 hours, and God could be wanting to use you this day, this hour, this moment to share the Good News, and help someone out of the grave they're digging. But the way we really do this is in our day to day with Christ, which is why it's so important to have one on one time set aside for just you and Christ.
Do we still sin? Do we still struggle? Do we still completely mess it up? Yes. To all of that. And you wanna know why? Because this isn't our happy ending yet. I don't have a high note to end on, because guys I'm not ON a high note! I'm enduring this life as I would run a race. I will not ever stop running to His finish line no matter how many mountain tops or dark valleys I go through. Our "what now" answer is never fully answered until our last day has come and we are HOME because that is when we will be made complete.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I have been fully known - 1 Corinthians 13:11-12